Snow Globes that Define Me, at a Standstill
I see me on the couch by the window sill
looking out in the darkness with car lights outside window
My snow globe becomes activated
The car begins driving away without looking back.
I am everlasting tears
Broken with no father in my life to keep me together
I lay there huddled and shaking
I pick up another snow globe
I see me in the corner of my room in a ball.
Crying in tears from break ups that hurt me the most.
Switching through the times when I needed him most.
Then, another snow globe activated from my perplexed childhood
I see me, waking up before dawn
Walking down the stairs and seeing a black suitcase.
His black suitcase.
I turn my head around the corner
Hidden almost like a spy behind the wall that conceals the stairs.
Watching my dad make coffee in the kitchen me time stops, then activates.
I start running and his arms are open for me to climb in.
I see me on my dad’s shoulders in the park at our old house learning to do the monkey bars
I see me dancing on his feet.
I see him closing his last door to never coming home again.
I see memories that remain frozen imbedded into my emotional complex.
That will forever mold my uncertainty’s.
Will forever consume me into an ire despair, of never ending life sufferings.
It’s up to me to transform those unfortunate events.
As they are Toxic.
They consume my every breath.
Depriving me of oxygen.
I find myself in a never ending search for true meaning.
Written in the stars that light up the wilderness
I lay on a blanket.
My body in his arms.
I have found my oxygen
High up on a mountain, With in the trees beneath the stars.